“It is never very interesting to read about being good. The only thing that is maybe less interesting than reading about being good is writing about good. Or, wait. No. The only thing that is definitely less interesting than reading about being good and writing about being good is actually being good. Goodness is not interesting because being good means being clean. Goodness is not interesting because being good means absence. Goodness is not interesting because being good means being empty, and there’s nothing of interest in a void. But the process of getting to that state of nothingness? The act of attaining a spot in that perfect place where every decision (even what you eat!) is made in such a pure and moral way that it’s impossible to deny that you have finally reached a place where you are good? Well, that becomes much more interesting, because the process is necessarily messy, and the reactions people have to your goal of being good and eating well range from contempt to enthusiasm to annoyance, and the sad, dark truth is that you know deep inside that you will not only never manage to be good, but you will never even manage to be good enough. All of which is to say, I went on a diet.”